Master of Puppets
by Symphonies in Sorrow
Summary: Song-fic, based on Metallica's song. Beast Boy is using drugs to forget a lost love... but drugs lead to death... R&R, please [RAPED]


**Overture (without music)**

_As you may know, has decided that we writers can't post lyrics. Sad but true; it means that I have to edit my fictions... You'll find these lines in every fic I've edited. I don't like this rule very much (because I am not claiming that the lines are mine, I always give credits), but rules are rules. I hope you will appreciate my work. _  
**SyS**

Hi, people! After writing the third chapter of "A New Foe", I write this little song-fic. As you may know, I love Metallica and particularly this song. But before reading it, let me say something...  
First, thanks to **Sirius Horse Lover**, for being such a great beta-reader and a wonderful friend... THANK YOU!  
Then... I read your last reviews about "Necrophagia". It was a one shot, remember? I received some wonderful reviews... And some flame. To the flamer, **blackman**, I want to say: I know I'm a sick bastard. So what? Do you think you're normal, criticizing the author and not the story? To all the other reviewers: I'm writing a sequel. For all of you. And, for this sequel, you all must thank: **Draco's Secret Lover**, **RenegadeMustang** and **LASHAY-ISAAC**. With your reviews, you threw me back inside that story. Stay tuned for "Necrophagia II"!  
Last thing: this song-fic is dedicated with friendship to my "personal Master of Puppets"... **Bonekhan313**!  
And, without any further ado...

* * *

Here we are… look at the needle… it goes inside… ah, yeah, I suddenly feel it. My God, this is pure strength! I feel like I can break a wall with my head… I remove the syringe off my vein, and feel the need of one more injection… I'm addicted to heroin, I must accept it. _  
_  
I tried everything. Cocaine, morphine, different types of psychotropic drugs, every kind of painkiller… But heroin is my favorite. The other drugs just send me in a strange place I can't define… a place full of stunning colors and painful sounds. I hate that place. It's my personal vision of hell. Heroin just makes me feel… stronger. It calms my mind down. Painkillers are sleepy. Heroin doesn't have this effect. Heroin is useful to… forget. 

Yeah, forget. Alcohol? It's not enough. Heroin is better. It doesn't kill my sorrow. It _eats_ my sorrow.

I don't do drugs just because I want to fly high. Like some idiot. I don't do drugs 'cause I like 'em. Absolutely not. I hate drugs. I know they will lead me to death, but I… I can't help myself.

I tried to stay away from drug, to ignore its call. It's impossible. She constantly comes back in my mind…

I was so happy… why did life change so much? I was a hero, I had friends, and a girl who loved me too. I lost everything. First, my sweet Terra… will I see her again? No, probably not. She's a lifeless stone, so hard and so cold… I wish I could be a stone too, just to lay beside you, my dear… After her, I lost my friends. But it's all my fault, I know it… and I'll never forgive myself.

But I did it just because I need it! They probably can't understand how painful can be… to lose the only person who really loved you. But again, it's not their fault. I just started using drugs for… well, forget everything. Life without her seemed so empty… I felt alone in this world. Too much grief to endure. So I just used drugs. Then, they found a syringe. And they understood.

They tried to help me. They were my friends. I refused any help. They can't understand the pain.

They said: "Beast Boy! Drugs are bad!"… Thank you, Star, I didn't realize it! And Rob: "You can't do it… they'll kill you…". Oh, another thing I didn't know. Can't you understand my sorrow? I was, and still I am, desperate! Terra is not with me! I will never embrace her again! I need her!

Cyborg was… sorry. I dunno if he understood my feelings. Raven… she's the only one who really got it. She perfectly understood. She said: "Bb knows that drugs are dangerous. What we can do is tell him that he's doing something wrong. If he doesn't want to stop… it's his choice. We can't do anything…". The guys looked at her like she's crazy. I didn't wait there. I ran out of the building where they found me. This happened yesterday. They're probably still looking for me. Sorry. I don't want you to get close to me. I need to stay alone. I'm thinking. I'm thinking a lot. Because I realized something: even drugs don't work. Well, it _was_ perfect. Now… even heroin can't eat my sorrow. I'm dying with this grief. Why did I use drugs? I was sure they could help me… I was totally wrong. I was fooled. But I can't come back. I'm condemned.

I was searching for… some peace. I was trying to forget, to live with a new emotion I never felt before: Sadness. Now, why doesn't this stupid drug work? How the hell is this possible? Think, Bb, think… you know why. You perfectly know why. Drugs are illusions. Drugs are illusions of a better life. Drugs are illusions of some happiness. You were blinded. You realize this… now. When you have no friends, no love, no life, you understand that you were fooled. You idiot.

I can't believe it… hot tears start to stream down my cheeks. Why…? I need the effect of drugs… I need to be stunned by drugs! Why did you fool me, drug?

Tears are bitter. Pretty much as my sorrow. Why didn't I stop using drugs? Why didn't I listen to my friends? Why is my life falling so low…?

Now I'm trapped. I left my friends. I lost everything. I was betrayed by drugs. The only thing I have is… life. But what kind of life? Empty. Impossible to live.  
_  
_I still have some drugs. Another one, Beast Boy? You wanted it. You constructed your own death.

The needle goes inside one more time. The last time. That's too much. I know it. Goodbye, damn world. You took everything from me. From life to love. You and drugs, of course.

While waiting for death, I can do just one more thing: think of my angel, Terra. My only source of strength, my only reason to live for. I'm coming, my dear. I'm dying just to see you again.

For… my… friends… I… am… sorry…

TTT

"I found him!" yells Starfire. I run into the building, praying the good lord he's still alive. I need his stupid jokes. I need his awful humor. I need Beast Boy.  
He's laying on the floor, a syringe near his left arm. No… he can't be…  
"Beast Boy! Please wake up! Beast…"  
Cyborg grabs my arms, pushing me away from him. "Rae… I'm sorry… he overdosed"  
No… This can't be true…

**A/N**

_Here's a raped song-fic. Without lyrics it looks ugly... Well, listen to the song, get the lyrics and re-read it. It will look a little better. Thanks for reading._  
**SyS**


End file.
